Do You Remember?
by beautifulEnmity
Summary: The only one that had been able to make Sakuya smile again, was Mahiru. With a simple smile he had changed the little boy s world. Even now, after they had grown up, that still hadn t changed.
1. Chapter 1

"Do you remember the day we first met? You probably don't, it was a long time ago after all..."

Sakuya still remembered the day he met him.

It was way back in kindergarten, from a time that usually no one would pay much attention to after they grew up. They were just kids then and nothing of much significance happens when you're four or five years old anyway.

However, Sakuya still remembered.

His family had moved to another city when he was only five years old. And like most of the other kids his age, he had been in playschool too. So it had been only natural for his parents to search for a nearby kindergarten to send him to, during the day.

The day Sakuya was supposed to go to his new kindergarten he had been really nervous. He left his friends and now he would meet new children he didn't know.

But all thoughts vanished from his mind when he arrived in front if the building with his parents. It was gigantic, several times bigger than his last one.

He could do nothing, but stare in awe at the building until he was led inside by his father.

The inside of the nursery had been very pretty, yellow and orange painted walls littered with children drawings and photos of various animals.

His parents had started to talk with one of the kindergarten teachers, but Sakuya didn't really pay attention to them. He was still intrigued by the drawings on the walls, absently grabbing his dad's trouser leg.

Suddenly there was a lot of noise coming from behind and shortly after, a group of yelling and laughing kids rushed past them, one of them accidentally bumping into Sakuya.

Thrown off balance by the impact, the green haired boy stumbled back and fell to the ground, eyes wide in surprise. He kept sitting on the floor for several moments, until he noticed the hand that was held in front of him.

The boy who just ran into Sakuya was offering his hand to get him up, a guilty look on his features. When Sakuya accepted the hand, he immediately noticed the wide smile that crossed the other boys face, before he hurried after the other kids.

After a few moments, his parents had finished their conversation with the teacher and were now following her into one of the nearby rooms, his father holding his hand and leading him along.

A rainbow was painted onto the door of the room and even the inside resembled a rainbow. Or rather a mix of many rainbow colors. A lot of children were currently inside the room, playing or drawing something, not really paying them any attention.

This was when the kindergarten teacher stepped forward and called all of the kids attention to herself. "Everyone, I'd like to introduce someone to you." She took Sakuya's hand from his father's and led him where all children could see him. "This is Sakuya Watanuki. He and his family just moved here and he'll be a part of this group now. Be nice to him!" She offered Sakuya a reassuring smile, before turning back to his parents. His father patted his head and his mother hugged him before saying goodbye. They left the room with the kindergarten teacher, leaving the little green haired boy alone in the room with all the unfamiliar children.

After a few seconds, during which most of the children just stared at him, they turned their attention back to what they were doing, leaving Sakuya by himself.

He looked around the room and then decided to sit down at one of the tables to draw something.

His parents had always given him pencils and sheets of paper at home so he could draw a bit and he greatly enjoyed it. The thing he liked to draw the most were daisies.

Sakuya had always picked flowers with his sister and wanted to draw her picking them, but he usually didn't get past drawing the daisies. That day had been the same.

After he just finished drawing the daisies, he heard a chair next to him being moved, legs scraping over the ground.

When he turned around he saw the boy from before sitting next to, smiling. "Hello, Sakuya? That was your name, right?" The green haired boy only nodded, letting the other boy talk. "That's a cool name. I'm Mahiru Shirota, nice to meet you!" He smiled warmly at Sakuya and extended a hand to him. He had been surprised by Mahiru's gesture, but quickly imitated what all the adults were doing and took his hand, shaking it.

Even then, when he was only just five years old, he knew that Mahiru had been exceptionally polite and nice for a boy his age.

After the handshake, Sakuya was unsure about what to say, so he just turned back slightly and continued drawing. Mahiru however didn't leave, but just kept on talking to him. "What are you drawing, Sakuya? Are that daisies?"

He had seen the sparkle in those brown eyes and decided to speak for the first time this day. His voice had been very quiet, so Mahiru had to lean in a bit understand him. "Yeah, that are daisies, I-"

He was interrupted when one of the older kids grabbed his drawing, eyeing it curiously, before turning to the two boys with a sneer. "So, the new kid draws flowers? What are you, a girl?" He laughed and held the drawing higher when Sakuya had attempted to get it back. Mahiru had stood up too, helping Sakuya to get the drawing back, but without avail. After a few more failed attempts, the bully raised his voice so that several children nearby could hear him.

"Hey everyone, the new 'boy' is drawing flowers! I think he rather is a 'girl'!"

Everyone who heard the kid started laughing while staring at Sakuya, pointing at him and yelling something like "What a girl!"

Sakuya had felt the tears prickle in the corners of his eyes, but tried to hold them back in front of everyone. In the meantime, the child who stole his drawing had folded an paper plane out of it and when Sakuya caught sight of him again, threw it out of the window with a triumphant grin.

In that moment, everything the little green haired boy had wanted to do was leave this place and go back home. To his old town and his friends.

Tears had begun running down his face and he quickly made a turn and left the room. Back in the hallway, he tried to look for his parents through the tears clouding his eyes. When he didn't see them, he began running down the corridor, silently calling for his parents between sobs that had started to break out of him. After some minutes of searching for his parents, Sakuya remembered that they had already left, making him sob heavier.

He ran into the next room and found himself inside the washroom, his sobs echoing from the tiled walls.

He was shaking and his face wet from all the tears, but he didn't care. Sakuya noticed a big wooden closet at one side of the room. He walked over to it, pushed the towels that were taking most of the place aside and quickly climbed inside, closing the door. Then he curled himself up in a corner between the soft towels and continued his silent sobbing.

After some time, his sobbing stopped and he began hiccupping, his face buried in his arms. He was still shaking and wanted nothing more than his parents to take him away from here, back home.

Suddenly he heard someone enter the washroom, the tapping of little feet on the ground echoing in the big room. The little boy hoped that whoever it was wouldn't notice him inside the closet just leave, but he starting shaking even more when he noticed that the steps were getting louder and louder. When Sakuya heard them stop in from of his closet, he buried his face between his thighs and made himself as small as possible. He silently pleaded that it wasn't that mean kid from before that had followed him to bully him even more.

He heard the closet door open and pressed his eyes shut hoping that he wouldn't be noticed, curled up in the corner.

The green haired boy almost jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder. His head shot up and he tried to make out who was standing there, patting on his shoulder.

"Sakuya...? Are you alright? I'm sorry about before, that kid is a big meanie to everyone..." The other trailed off and Sakuya could only sit there while trying to comprehend the situation. "M-Mahiru..?" His voice was quiet and way higher than usual from all the crying and sobbing, but at least he got the words out.

"Yeah, I'm Mahiru. So, do you want to come out of this closet? I... have something I want to give you and it's weird if I give it to you inside the closet...". He trailed off and Sakuya took his time to study the boys features. His dark brown hair was slightly tousled, but he had a smile on his face and was looking at him expectantly with his brown eyes.

"O-okay..." It was merely a whisper, but Mahiru seemed to have heard it and extended one hand to help Sakuya get out of the closet. When he was standing on the ground again, though still shaking, Sakuya muttered quite "Thank you" towards the brunet, which made the smile on the matters face seem even wider.

After a few seconds, the green haired boy realized that he was still holding onto Mahiru's hand. He was about to let go when he felt the other boys fingers tighten a bit around his as if telling him, that it was okay like this. After a few minutes of silence Sakuya remembered that Mahiru had wanted to give him something. "You said you had something for me?" He queried, looking curiously at the brunet. "Yeah, I wanted..." He opened his other hand but held it so that Sakuya wasn't able to see what he was holding. Whatever he saw didn't seem to be what he expected, his smile dropping and his brows furrowing, before the smile returned back to his face as if an idea had struck him.

Before he noticed, Mahiru had already started leading Sakuya out of the washroom into another room nearby which was empty except for a few chairs and a table. He was led to one of the chairs and was pushed down by Mahiru before the other ran out of the room, yelling "Wait a moment please, I'll be right back!"

Sakuya just sat there for several minutes, wiping the tears from his face and waited for Mahiru to come back. He didn't know what was going on or what Mahiru was doing, but he was glad that at least one person was being nice to him.

When the little brunet returned, he held one hand behind his back, smiling at Sakuya. "Here, for you." He handed the green haired boy what he had been holding behind his back, an expectant look in his eyes.

Sakuya was really surprised at what Mahiru wanted to give him. The latter was holding a few daisies in his hand, waiting for him to take them. He took them from Mahiru's hand, small smile forming on his lips. "Did... Did you pick them for m-me?" His voice still wasn't back to normal, but at least he managed to speak at all.

"Yes. I searched for your picture, but I couldn't find it anywhere... But then I saw some daisies and thought you'd like to have them because I couldn't give you your drawing back... But when I wanted to give them too you earlier, they were already wilted a bit because I had to search for you for so long. But these here are better, right?"

"Yes, they are very pretty. Thank you Mahiru..." And his smile had been like the sun after a week of rain.

His smile had been so innocent, honest and full of happiness it had burned itself into Sakuya's mind.

That day, they had become friends. And since then every time Mahiru had seen a daisy, he had picked it and gave it to him, making him smile. The two of them had become inseparable, applied for the same schools and gladly always ended up in the same classes. They went to elementary school together and then to middle school. Mahiru was always popular and had lots of friends, but he still spend most of his time with Sakuya.

Since their kindergarten days nothing much had changed between them. Of course they had both grown up quite a bit. Mahiru was still always happy and nice to everyone, but now he had also started searching for the easiest way to solve problems. He ended up, having to do lots of things by himself, but Sakuya was always there to help him. Although he started making jokes about it after some time.

Sakuya had also changed since then. He wasn't a crybaby anymore and could handle most things himself. But as much as he helped Mahiru with his problems every day, he also realized that he still relied greatly on the other when he had problems himself.

Nothing really changed when they started high school either. They were both quite popular in their class and quickly made a lot of friends. During their last year of high school they were both making plans for college. Of course they did want to apply for the same college. They didn't really care what others said about "going your own way" and other things to get them to do different things. They had been best friends for more than ten years. They would apply for the same college if they wanted to.

And so the last year of high school had come to end and for the two. The last day of school had been extremely hot, but nobody really minded it. The teachers didn't even tried to get the students to do anything, well aware that they would be done with school in a few hours anyway. Most of them just let them watch a movie or they were allowed to do what they wanted to.

When the bell finally rang, it was like hell had broken loose. Everyone stormed outside, leaving the school behind them.

In front of the school's main entrance, Mahiru, Sakuya and their friend Ryusei were chatting about what they had planned for the day.

"You should totally come with us and check out this new club in town! I heard it's great! Do you wanna come?" Ryusei sounded pretty excited about it, but both Sakuya and Mahiru knew that it was better to not go drinking with him.

"Uh, Ryusei, I think that..." Mahiru had trailed off, frantically searching for an excuse.

"We'd gladly accompany you, but I fear we have to help my sister pack her things since she'll be moving tomorrow. I'm really sorry, maybe next time. Just have fun and you can tell us how it went tomorrow, 'kay?" Sakuya quickly grabbed Mahiru's arm and pulled him along, waving back at Ryusei while leaving.

After they walked a bit more and were out of sight, Sakuya finally stopped, grinning at the brunet. "That was close, you know? One more line from you and he probably wouldn't have believed us and then you would have been responsible for the worst night of our lives...or rather the second worse night." A chuckle escaped the his lips as he remembered the "worst night of their lives". That was when they had found out not to go drinking with Ryusei _ever_ again.

Mahiru exhaled, sending Sakuya a thankful look. "Yeah, yeah. I'm just not so good at improvising like you! How do you do that anyway?!" He laughed, but then a thought seemed to struck him. "But wait... Isn't your sister really moving tomorrow? Should we help her pack her things?" The green haired boy raised his hands as if to stop anything that might be coming from the brunet. "Nah, everything's fine, Mahiru. I already helped her a bit yesterday and that right now was just an excuse. Today was our last day of school until we go to college after the holidays, we should enjoy it! What about we go to the movies? There's this new movie I absolutely _have_ to watch!" He looked at Mahiru when the other started laughing.

"What?"

"Isn't that movie you want to watch that one new love story that premiered last week? The trailer was so cliché and you seriously want to watch that today?" He broke into another fit of laughter. "Love stories are great..." the green haired boy murmured, lips pursed into a fake pout. "And you always want to watch documentaries. Who goes to the cinema to watch documentaries?!" Mahiru had finally calmed down and started protested vehemently. "That only was _one time_ , Sakuya _. One time!_ I watch other movies too!"

The way small brunet tried to defend himself, was starting to make Sakuya chuckle. He ruffled the other's hair, smirking down at him. "I know, I know. I was only teasing, _Ma-chan._ " He took a step away from the boy that was literally fuming with anger, laughing at the other's expression.

"I told you to stop ruffling my hair and don't call me _Ma-chan!_ We're not in kindergarten anymore!"

Sakuya just laughed at this. Teasing his friend was simply hilarious every time he did it.

"Yeah, sorry, sorry. Now, what should we do today? I'll let you decide, okay?"

He knew that Mahiru was probably still a bit angry at him, but he would let him decide what to do to make up for it.

"We can watch that movie of yours... I don't really mind. Maybe it's good."

"But, Mahiru, I-"

"No, no it's okay. I actually like romance movies... At least a bit. If you want to go and see it, it has to be good, right? So let's watch it!" He smiled at the green haired boy with the same smile he had back in kindergarten. It was honest and full of happiness, not a lot of people could resist the smile. And Sakuya wasn't one of them.

Every time Mahiru smiled at him like that, he felt complete warm inside and a fluttering feeling began in his stomach. "I... Okay. But if you really don't want to watch it we can do-" He was interrupted by Mahiru grabbing his arm and pulling him along. "We're going to watch that movie, Sakuya. I said so. Do you understand?" There was a hint of playfulness laced inside his voice that made Sakuya grin. "Aye, aye, captain!" He answered with a mock salute before following the brunet down the street.

They both made their way home, agreeing to meet up at eight in front of the cinema.

When Sakuya arrived at 7:55 pm in front of the cinema, Mahiru was already standing there, waiting. He wore a casual jeans, an orange t-shirt that complimented his eyes and a black blazer.

Sakuya's heart skipped a beat as he made his way towards the brunet.

"Let me guess, you were waiting here for twenty minutes already, am I right? Why are you always this early?" He laughed at the startled expression on Mahiru's face who obviously hadn't noticed him in the crowd before.

"Geez, Sakuya, don't startle me like that! Do you want me to get an heart attack?!" "I was walking straight towards you, airhead. You could have seen me minutes ago if you had paid attention." He smirked at the other who simply let out a small sigh, although Sakuya thought he saw Mahiru smile from the corner of his eyes when they turned around to buy tickets.

The movie theatre was pretty full so they split up, one going to buy the tickets, the other one going to buy popcorn.

When they met up again, at least 20 minutes had passed and the movie was about to start. Sakuya quickly led them to the right seats and they sat down, waiting for the movie to start.

The movie was actually pretty good and even Mahiru seemed to enjoy it. During the movie their hands had occasionally brushed together when both of them wanted to get popcorn. Sakuya wasn't even sure if the other teen had noticed it, but every time he felt their hands touching, a warmth had spread from that point through his entire body.

Thinking about it, he seemed to have missed a few parts of the movie, but he didn't really care.

While he watched the images flicker over the screen, Sakuya heard quite laughter behind him. He wanted to turn around, but nudged Mahiru in the process, who was holding his coke in one hand. Unfortunately, Sakuya bumped into the hand in which Mahiru was holding the coke, making it spill all over the brunet's shirt and jeans, leaving sticky, brown spots on them.

"Oh man, I'm so sorry, Mahiru!" He tried to keep his voice down, but could already feel the glares he received on his back.

"Don't worry, it's just some coke. If I wash it immediately it will go away. But it does feel sticky..." He trailed off, a guilty look on his face. "Could we maybe leave? Of course, if you want continue watching the movie-" The green haired teen took his hand and pulled him out of his seat.

"It's okay, it was my fault anyway. Let's go."

It was already dark outside when they left the cinema and made their way to Mahiru's apartment. It was only a few blocks away and there the brunet could change into different clothes. Luckily it was still warm, so he wouldn't be cold in his wet clothes.

While they walked, Sakuya tried to apologize several times, but Mahiru always brushed it off with a "It's no big deal, really." or "Don't worry, I can wash it when I'm home."

Still feeling guilty about it, he thought about a way to make it up for him. Buy him new clothes? That would probably be a bit too much and Mahiru would most likely not accept it. Wash them for him? He would never let him do that, he was too focused on doing everything himself. Added to that, Sakuya had no clue how he could get coke out of a shirt or a jeans.

A sigh escaped his lips, as he desperately tried to think of something. There was bound to be something he could do...

He remember it the second they arrived at Mahiru's apartment door.

Sakuya waited until the brunet had unlocked the door and they stepped inside, before he said something.

"Mahiru, I have something for you. I actually wanted to give it to you as a simple present, but now it's also to make up for ruining your clothes." He pulled a little bag from his pocket and handed it to Mahiru, who was staring at him in surprise.

While the other opened the little package, Sakuya simply continued talking.

"I got it since you said you lost yours during practice last week... If you already have another one, just say it and I'll bring it back..." He averted his eyes and stared at ground, waiting for Mahiru's reaction.

"You got me a new sweat band? Thanks a lot, Sakuya! I was about to search for a new one, but you really saved me all that trouble." He smiled as he put on the sweat band, testing if it fitted.

And there was it again.

That smile.

It had been like this since their kindergarten days.

So happy and honest and it was always meant only for him.

Of course Mahiru smiled at other people too, but it felt like he was reserving that special smile just for him.

But since a few months ago Sakuya had started reacting differently to that smile. He didn't let Mahiru see it, but a fluttering feeling had started to form inside his stomach, every time the brunet would smile at him like that.

Of course Sakuya knew what it meant, after that feeling had stayed for several weeks. He wasn't naive.

But he also wasn't going to ruin his friendship because of that feeling. He had seen what it could do to people.

That feeling called _love._

He watched as his father leave them when he was only seven years old, for a woman he _loved_ more than his mother, his sister and him.

He wouldn't ruin everything by accepting that feeling and acting upon it.

Sakuya had started to ignore that feeling as much as he could.

Only that it wasn't that easy to ignore, especially when it just wouldn't go away.

During the last weeks he had realized that the feeling had intensified and he wasn't able to ignore it anymore.

The fluttering feeling inside his stomach had developed into a swarm of butterflies, every time the brunet smiled at him. He found himself following his best friends movements during practice, his eyes practically glued to Mahiru's form. Sakuya also felt that spark inside his body, every time their bodies brushed together accidentally.

And how much he hated himself for that.

He wanted to stay best friends with Mahiru and he was pretty sure that if he acted on this feeling that wouldn't be possible anymore. On top of that, they were both guys.

It just might have worked out if one of them had been a girl, but two guys...

Even if Mahiru would miraculously return his feelings, they would have a hard time in today's society, in which "gay" was used to insult people.

They probably would have to keep it a secret from everyone else. Sakuya wasn't sure if he could do that. He hated lying. His father had lied to his mother, telling her that he loved her, while he was seeing another woman. He didn't think he could do that.

But right now, when Mahiru smiled at him like that, he was able to forget all this and just think about how beautiful that smile was.

"It fits! Thanks a bunch!" Mahiru paused, suddenly remembering that his clothes were still stained with coke. "I have to wash this out before it has dried. You can just, I don't know, wait in the living room? I'll be right back!" He hurried off to the bathroom, taking his shirt off on the way, letting Sakuya see his back for a second before he turned around the corner.

After a few seconds the green haired boy finally started to move, making his way towards the living room. He let himself fall down onto the couch, one hand running over his eyes.

He had to stop thinking about things like this or else he would definitely get in trouble. He shouldn't be staring at his best friends back and _admire_ it! Although he had been surprised to see that Mahiru was actually this muscular.

Seems like the last year in the basketball club had payed off for the brunet.

Sakuya groaned and leaned back against the cushions. What was with not thinking about Mahiru like that?

He really wished he could just stop it.

A few minutes later, in which the green haired boy had tried to think of anything, _but_ Mahiru shirtless, he got up again. The brown haired boy was taking his sweet time with cleaning his clothes and changing, so Sakuya decided to check on him.

The hallway led directly to Mahiru's room where he should be by now. Sakuya knocked on the closed door, but after received no answer, he gently pushed it open.

He entered the room, but saw nobody inside, which made Sakuya furrow his eyebrows in confusion. Was Mahiru still washing out his clothes in the bathroom? That surely wouldn't take that long, would it? He turned back towards the door, ready to leave the room and search for the other, his hand already on the doorknob.

Suddenly the door was opened and Mahiru walked inside. The only problem was that Sakuya was standing right behind the door, so when he opened it and took the first step, he walked into the other, making both of them loose their balance and fall to the floor.

The green haired boy wasn't even able to register what was happening before he found himself lying on the floor, feeling a throbbing pain at the back of his head. He tried to stand up, but noticed a heavy weight pressing him down. He opened his eyes and forced his head to bend forward, despite the pain it caused.

He was lying on his back, Mahiru on top of him, wearing nothing but his boxers.

Sakuya felt the heat rising to his cheeks. He tried, really tried, to keep his mind away from Mahiru lying half naked on top of him, but it didn't work. He felt himself blushing despite his efforts and looked away in embarrassment.

Fortunately Mahiru got up in the same moment, a deep blush also prominent on his features. "I-I so s-sorry...!" The brunet began to stutter an apology, while trying to get away from Sakuya as fast as he could. He stumbled a few times, but eventually managed to get at least off of the green haired boy, so he could sit up.

When he was in a sitting, he started to feel dizzy and the world around him began spinning. With a groan, he lay back down, closing his eyes and concentrating on stopping the world from spinning around him. Mahiru had realized that something was wrong with his friend and quickly got down beside him. "Are you alright? Did you hit your head on the floor? I'm so sorry, wait a moment, I'll get you an ice pack!" And immediately the brunet left the room, putting on a sweater and some pants on the way.

With Mahiru gone, his injured friend could finally think straight again. He wanted to slap himself.

It had been an accident. Nothing more.

"And stop blushing, damn it!" He murmured to himself while burying his face in his hands, trying to block out the pain and fight back the color from his cheeks.

By the time Mahiru came back with an ice pack, Sakuya was only hoping that his face color was back to normal.

He was brought back from his train of thoughts by something cold pressing against the back of his head, making him hiss. He stopped when he realized that Mahiru had pressed the ice pack against his bump and heard the others laughter. "You sound like a kitten when you hiss like that!"

"I'll take that as a compliment."

The brunet chuckled and helped his friend get up. Sakuya was still feeling a bit dizzy, but with Mahiru's help he managed to walk over to the other's bed where he sat down.

They sat together in silence for some minutes before Mahiru spoke up.

"It's pretty late already, I think it'd be best if you would stay here for the night. Especially when you're still feeling dizzy..." He looked at Sakuya, the question obvious in his eyes.

Now he had to decide.

He knew what he should do.

He knew what the best option was.

And he knew what he wanted to do.


	2. Chapter 2

Sakuya could hear the loud beating of his heart in the small room.

He was breathing fast, facing the wall on the other side of the room, while trying to sleep.

He tried to sleep.

He really did.

But it was impossible.

How could he sleep when Mahiru was with him in the room, lying within arms reach?!

The green haired boy could hear the other's faint breathing behind him and it took every bit of his willpower to not turn around.

He shouldn't have accepted the brunet's invitation to stay over, but he wanted to.

He wanted to spent as much time as possible with Mahiru, even if it meant that he wouldn't sleep that night.

He could handle that much.

Still, it was risky. Sleeping so close together just made the Sakuya want to hold the other in his arms.

With a barely audible groan, Sakuya covered his face in his hands, trying to focus.

He was just staying over at his friend's place for the night.

Just this one night.

At his best friend's place.

After lying awake for what felt like an eternity, switching between staring at the wall and closing his eyes in an attempt to sleep, Sakuya decided that he wouldn't be able to sleep at all.

As quiet as he could, the green haired boy got up, crossed the room and made his way to the bathroom.

After searching for the light switch and turning it on, he had to blink a few times while his eyes adjusted to the sudden brightness.

He turned the water on and splashed the cold liquid in his face. It succeeded in cooling him down and he was able to think properly again.

He could do this.

Only a few more hours.

With the bump at the back of his head, sleeping was difficult anyway, it wasn't solely because of Mahiru.

Sighing Sakuya turned around, on his way to go back to his friend's room.

Maybe he could just wait until it was morning.

It wouldn't be that hard, would it?

He entered the dark room and walked over to the mattress Mahiru had placed on the floor for him.

Just wait until it was morning.

He checked his watch and a groan escaped his lips. 3 am. Three or four more hours to go.

He slipped under the thin blanket and turned so he faced the wall again.

For the next minutes Sakuya was lost in his own thoughts, occasionally shifting under the covers.

He just couldn't find a position that made him feel comfortable. He was getting more and more frustrated as time passed, cursing his inability to sleep, the pain in his head and his feelings for the boy next to him.

Suddenly he felt a hand grab his shoulder and the shock made him nearly jump.

His heart was beating louder and faster then ever when he turned around and came face to face with a sleepily blinking Mahiru.

"What's wrong? You can't sleep?"

The brunette slurred the words a bit, a sign of him still being half asleep.

"Uh..."

Sakuya wasn't able to form an answer. His heart was still beating like crazy. Partly due to the shock and partly because he was so close to Mahiru. Too close.

"You've been turning around so much. Is something wrong?"

Though it was still evident that he wasn't completely awake yet, the concern in his voice was obvious.

"Everything's alright, Mahiru. Don't worry. I just couldn't sleep."

"Are you sure? Does your head still hurt? Should I get a new ice pack?"

The brunet moved to stand up, but ended up losing his balance at the edge of the bed.

His reflexes were low due to the sleepy state he was in, which resulted in the boy falling onto Sakuya's mattress before he even realized what was happening.

Now he was basically lying in Sakuya's lap, his head pressed into the green haired boys right thigh.

With a barely audible yelp, Sakuya tried to frantically shove the other away without hurting him, which proved to be rather difficult since Mahiru made no attempt whatsoever to help him.

Moreover the brunet seemed rather comfortable with the position, which he confirmed only seconds later.

"Sakuya, stop moving. It's so comfortable just lying here..."

He trailed off and the green haired boy almost thought he fell asleep again, when the boy continued.

"If your head really doesn't hurt as bad anymore, then why don't you just lie down now? When we were kids you would always sleep better when I was lying next to you..."

Mahiru lifted himself up, his face inches away from Sakuya's. He gently pushed the other down and when the green haired boy was finally lying, he lay down as well, resting his head on the other's arm.

Sakuya was sure that the brunet would hear his rapidly beating heart.

He was too close.

Way too close.

Again.

He was about to say something that would get Mahiru to move away, but the other boy, who had been watching him the whole time, quickly interrupted him by laying on hand over his eyes.

"Just sleep now, Sakuya." He murmured, already about to fall asleep himself.

Mahiru retracted his hand from his face, but he let it fall down onto Sakuya's chest, right over his heart.

"Your heart's beating too fast..." he commented, but seemed no longer able to think about the reason for it.

Sakuya was glad when the other finally fell asleep only seconds later.

He waited for few more minutes until he was sure Mahiru wouldn't wake up again before he tried to gently push the other off of him.

But every time Sakuya moved, the brunet would stir a bit and he just couldn't wake him up when he was sleeping soundly like this.

After a few more futile attempts the green haired boy finally gave up and just lay still again.

He cursed inwardly at the situation he was currently in.

What was he supposed to do now?!

Mahiru was basically lying on top of him while sleeping and his heartbeat just wouldn't slow down, no matter what.

The worst part was that he was enjoying it. Sakuya was happy being this close to Mahiru, being able to feel the other's heartbeat right next to him.

He hated himself for it.

If this continued, he would destroy their friendship and loose his best friend since kindergarten as a result.

Why, just why did this have to happen to him?

Why did he have to fall in love with his best friend?

Sakuya didn't want Mahiru to find out about it, but it felt horrible keeping it a secret. It wasn't exactly a lie, he was just hiding something, but it felt as if it was one.

He always hated lying since the whole incident with his father and the feeling he had right now was awfully close to the one he felt back then.

He had hidden his feelings for Mahiru for several months, but right now the weight of this secret was almost crushing him.

If someone asked him how he felt when someone was lying, he wouldn't be able to describe the feeling properly.

It just felt like something was definitely wrong and as if he was dragged to the dark bottom of the ocean.

And this was how he felt right now.

Maybe it was his mind telling him that by hiding this from Mahiru and denying his feelings, he had been lying to the other boy and himself.

He shook his head slightly as he felt the crushing feeling intensify at the thought and immediately pain shot through his head.

Groaning silently, Sakuya turned his head sideways so the back of his head where he had hit the ground the earlier wasn't touching anything.

With one hand he began searching for his watch on the floor next to the mattress he was lying on and after a few seconds he was holding it in his hand.

Sakuya pressed one of the buttons on the left side and the numbers on the little screen lit up, blinding him momentarily.

When he was able to make out separate glowing digits instead of a single glowing rectangle, he almost threw the watch at the wall out of frustration.

It was 3:30 am and Sakuya would have to hold out for 2 hours and 30 minutes until Mahiru would get up.

He wasn't sure if he could hold out this long. The way he felt right now was killing him and if he wouldn't fall asleep he would surely go insane.

Thinking about everything again, Sakuya finally made a decision.

He woul to tell Mahiru how he felt in the morning.

Even if their friendship would brake apart, he just wasn't able to endure this any longer.

He really hoped it wouldn't come to that though. Sakuya wasn't sure if he could handle living without Mahiru.

Not only that, but he really didn't want to live like that.

Looking down at the sleeping brunet, Sakuya felt the sudden urge to touch the other's hair.

Illuminated by the moonlight, Mahiru's normally chocolate brown hair had a slight silvery tint to it which amazed the green haired boy.

He extended one hand and gently brushed some silvery - brown strands of hair out of the other's face.

Mahiru really looked peaceful when sleeping. During the last days, he had been really stressed out because of all the work he had to finish before the holidays started. Now the boy was finally a to relax a bit.

There had also been a lot to do for Sakuya, but Mahiru had volunteered to help others and all that work had really taken a toll on him. He knew that the brunet had only slept a few hours each day for at least two weeks because he couldn't do everything during the day.

Of course Sakuya had helped him whenever he had the time, but it still had been too much for his friend. Now the holidays had started and they both could use the time to relax and, most of all, sleep.

Maybe going to the cinema last evening hadn't been the best of ideas, but it had been fun anyways. Mahiru had seemed to like the movie and when Sakuya had actually paid attention he thought it was great too. All in all the evening had been great, despite the two of them being rather tired. Or at least it had been great until he had spilled that coke...

Sakuya had been so lost in his thoughts that without him noticing, he had started to stroke his friend's hair.

"Sakuya..."

Startled, Sakuya drew back his hand.

Did Mahiru wake up?

He quickly looked at the other's face, but his eyes were still closed. Mahiru shifted a bit and uttered Sakuya's name again, more quiet this time.

Mahiru... Mahiru was dreaming of him?

Sakuya couldn't help the smile that spread across his face.

He was feeling so happy right now, butterflies dancing tango in his stomach and the crushing feeling he felt before finally gone. He twined his arms around Mahiru and hugged him tightly.

Without really realizing what he was doing, Sakuya leaned forward and pressed a light kiss on top of Mahiru's head.

"I love you."

Before he could even think about what was going on, these words had left Sakuya's mouth in a whisper. His body stiffened when he realized that he had really said these words, knowing there was no going back.

Maybe Mahiru didn't hear them, he was asleep after all.

There was no way he could have heard him say it.

Suddenly the boy in his arms moved and in a matter of seconds his face was in front of Sakuya's, brown eyes shining bright in the dim room, his arms on either side of his head.

The green haired boy was to shocked to do anything when Mahiru leaned down so that his mouth was almost brushing against his ear.

"Took you long enough..." the brunet half whispered, half laughed, while leaning back so he could look at Sakuya again.

"You... You knew?"

Sakuya's voice was shaking slightly and he felt shocked, uncertain and confused.

Mahiru had known about it?

And since when?

He heard a barely suppressed laughter coming from the brunet.

"Of course, silly. I don't think anybody wouldn't notice someone staring at them every day."

He paused as if remembering something, before he continued.

"Well there is one exception, namely you. You really didn't make things easy for me..."

He flashed a smile at Sakuya and it was one of those smiles.

Sakuya didn't really care that he didn't get what Mahiru meant with that last sentence, he was already captured again by his smile.

He just had to clarify one thing.

"So you mean-"

He was cut off by Mahiru who leaned down again, their foreheads touching.

"Yes. Yes, Sakuya, I love you. I was for quite a while already, but you didn't seem to notice it. I thought that you weren't interested and just wanted to stay friends, so I didn't say anything. But during the last months your behaviour towards me changed and I was unsure of what you were thinking... and now you've finally said that you like me and..."

He stopped, a look of concern crossing his features.

"Sakuya, why are you crying?"

Surprised, Sakuya loosened the hold he still had on Mahiru and touched one of his cheeks with his fingertips.

He didn't know when he started crying, but he wasn't able to stop now.

He looked up at Mahiru and smiled while tears still continued to roll down his face.

He pulled Mahiru down and hold him close, face buried in his shoulder.

"I love you."

It was merely a whisper, but Mahiru heard it. He smiled and sat up, pulling Sakuya with him.

When the green haired boy looked up, Mahiru was sitting in his lap, his hands cupping Sakuya's face.

"I love you too" was all he heard before he felt a kissed being placed on his forehead and a warm body snuggling against him.

Smiling slightly, Sakuya embraced Mahiru and wasn't going to let go for a long time.


End file.
